Non Crafty Post: "Just Wait"

Being positive while coping with a baby with reflux.

A friend of mine posted a link to this blog post, "Joy or 'Just Wait'" and I wanted to share. I really needed to read that today. Baby G is 10 months old now and we just switched to Prevacid because he's still having issues with his reflux. He's such a wonderful happy boy all day while he's in an upright position, crawling and cruising, so no one understands what we go through for naps, bedtime, and diaper changes. He's laughing at me right now,cruising around the couch near my desk with yogurt smeared all over his face, and Willow is "helping" him clean up. Willow has a substantial amount of yogurt in her fur. I love my son with all my heart and I always wanted lots of children, but the thought of going through this again is just painfully frightening. Just the reflux. I can do labor again- I labored until 8cm unmedicated, ended up with a c-section, had weeks of recovery, and the frustration of not being able to hold my son immediately after his birth. But I feel like I can try to do something different next time. And I know there's an end to that. Eventually there's a wonderful baby that you get from all the tears and sweat.

Reflux just is. I have no idea why he has reflux. I have been blaming my icky labor and all of the interventions that ended up being used by the end, the medications I took during my pregnancy that doctors said were fine, and everything else that I can think of, but the reality is that I just don't know what happened. I see my friends struggling with sleep issues with their children, but they're having a few bad nights or a couple weeks due to teething, and then it's like, "Phew they're back to sleeping normal again." It seems like Baby G has mostly bad nights with an occasional run of two or three good nights. Right now he's nursing at least every hour or two all night long which means we're back to full-time cosleeping because I'm just too tired to get up every time to nurse him. If we don't nurse him and try other methods of comforting him, he will scream and thrash. Back when I was still tracking his nursing habits, he was nursing up to 22 times per day. If he's having a good night, he wakes about three times in a night to nurse, then goes back to sleep easily. I love those nights because I wake up feeling refreshed and I go about my day, parenting as I'd ideally like to parent. I always feel like a terrible mom after the bad nights because I know I could be better, but I'm just too tired. I feel like a terrible friend because sometimes I am so intensely jealous that others are having this miraculous, wonderful experience with lots of family support when they need it to help balance the tough points. I don't even know how much of my exhaustion is a result of the reflux anymore and what part is just not having any help outside of Daddy B (who is amazing and always super helpful). My most hated part of reflux is when he starts coughing and choking... he refluxes, the solids and milk all come up, and then he chokes... it usually happens at night, usually waking him up, and it stresses me out as I'm petrified he won't be able to breath. Fortunately, the Zantac seems to help with that part. The worst part is not knowing when it'll end or get better. I decided to try Prevacid to see if it helps Baby G better than the Zantac- and someone tells me, "It may get worse before it gets better" in terms of it working. AHHHH! I'll lose my mind! Before everyone offers advice because that's everyone's favorite thing to do- we've tried it. "It" being everything. So unless your child had reflux and you found an interesting new treatment method, or you're a pediatrician or gastroenterologist, shh. I'm puzzled as to why everyone who has never had to deal with an issue seems to think their basic knowledge on the subject will enlighten someone who has been dealing with the problem for so long. We have the internet too.

Back to my original reason for posting this, those "just wait, it's going to get harder" comments from others make me want to burst into tears (or punch them in the face). It's hard to stay positive when you're struggling and exhausted, but it's harder when others want to focus on the negative.  Never tell a parent "just wait" because you don't know what they're going through right now.  No one who is struggling needs to hear that it's going to get harder- know why? It's going to get easier. We're going to get used to being new parents, Baby G will eventually learn to talk and let us know where it hurts so that the doctor can help better, and hopefully his reflux will resolve itself. Heck, someday Baby G will be a Teenage G and he'll probably wish we were heavier sleepers. Sorry buddy, we're well prepared now! So be a good citizen and when you see young couples with their newborn, listen to your mother's advice: "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all." But if you want to reminisce on how wonderful being a parent is, we appreciate it... we can even share a few of our favorite moments with you as well. Because even when it's hard, and I'm frustrated and overtired, it's funny how quickly and easily Baby G can make me smile or laugh.

I'll leave you with this video that I enjoy... Baby G with our dog Tyson... as you can tell, he's not a fan of all the special attention he's been getting since Baby G got mobile!



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DIY Danielle: Non Crafty Post: "Just Wait"
Non Crafty Post: "Just Wait"
Being positive while coping with a baby with reflux.
DIY Danielle
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